The World According To Damien
in a World gone mad – one sane voice emerges…

Damien on… Women And Animals

Most people think “Disneyfied” animals – ones that TALK – are fantasies for children. Not so. All animals HAVE the power of speech. They simply choose to HIDE it from us. This is so they don’t have to listen to our complaining. If we knew they can understand us, think what a PAIN it would be for them. “My wife doesn’t understand me”, “Do you HAVE to lick that?” etc. Of course, they don’t mind talking in front of drunks and looneys – who’s going to believe THEM?

In much the same way, men can IRON. We can also cook (how many of the World’s greatest chefs are WOMEN?) clean, hoover, wash up and do laundry. After all, what ARE these things? Cooking is merely the application of heat to raw materials. And any fool can read the washing instructions on a garment. Who do you think DESIGNED washing machines in the first place? As for hoovers – we can handle MOWERS without taking out the flower-beds.

We can do all these things and more – but that doesn’t mean we WANT to. These activities are monumentally TEDIOUS. So, just like the animals, we CONCEAL our abilities. Women, bless ’em, fail to notice the sly smiles we men exchange, when they moan to each other about how HOPELESS we are around the house. This minor slur on our manhoods is a small price to pay for keeping women where they BELONG – in the KITCHEN.

(If THIS one doesn’t get me some comments…)


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