The World According To Damien
in a World gone mad – one sane voice emerges…

Damien on… Mortarboards

The Square Academic Cap. Usually worn with a gown. Both black.

When I was a kid in Sixties England, high-school teachers still wore these. They were considered to be like the wigs and gowns worn by the legal profession; affording credibility to the wearer.

However, as the decade wore on, their usage died out.

But then, they became revived among STUDENTS – to be hired and worn on Graduation Day. This practice came over from America and like in America, it was accompanied by the tradition of having a group photo taken where everyone would, with gay abandon, THROW their mortarboards into the air.

mortarboard throwing

However now, the University of East Anglia (in Norwich – where the definition of a virgin is a girl who can run faster than her brother) has BANNED the practice, claiming Health & Safety as the reason – “You could have someone’s EYE out with that!”

But the TRUTH is that such injuries are as rare as rocking-horse poop – the REAL reason is that those who hire out the caps and gowns got miffed at the DAMAGE caused to the mortarboards upon landing.

Which is a bit RICH given they charge about fifty POUNDS for their hire – which HAS to be more than the COST of the damn things.



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