The World According To Damien
in a World gone mad – one sane voice emerges…

Damien on… The Meaning Of Dreams

…There isn’t any. I thank you.

Oh – you want more? Okay. For centuries, psychiatrists and other quacks have made fortunes convincing people that interpretation of dreams can reveal important facts about their inner psyches.

All of which is bogus.

When we sleep, our higher brain – the “conscious” – shuts down, allowing our lower brain – the “subconscious” – to PLAY (if the lower brain shut down as well, we would stop BREATHING).

Now freed from its mundane duties, the lower brain goes walkabout.

And as it stumbles around our memory banks, it pulls out images, emotions and concepts in an entirely RANDOM manner, occasionally stringing them together into a vaguely narrative form.

And it is these ramblings that we call dreams. Of course, most of the jumble makes no sense, but when it does, we remember it when we wake (particularly if the dream occurred shortly before waking).

But it’s a bit like that infinite number of monkeys. If they bang away mindlessly on those typewriters for long enough, one will knock out something that might pass for a Hollywood screenplay – which would explain “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter”.

So when you wake, having just committed an unspeakable act with your mother, don’t rush to the Yellow Pages looking for a shrink.

You don’t have a PROBLEM – it was just the random wanderings of your unfettered subconscious.

And if you allow this inane drivel from the Haunted Wing of your grey matter to worry you, you DESERVE the drivel said shrink will unload all over YOU.

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2 Responses to “Damien on… The Meaning Of Dreams”

  1. I am glad to see a new piece atop Damien. It means that I can pop in and not see Bill Cosby’s smirking mug reminding me of the bossy father in the show he did.

    As to your take on dreams, I agree. My father had read the scientific view of dreams (missing out the oo-nasty phoney explanation) and that makes it even more sad that he, my dad, believed in a guy-in-the-sky.

    But whilst I was spot-on regarding the creator’s being a myth, I was wrong in assuming that working hard, and saving hard to become rich in a sunny country, was a con too. No. It was right on.

  2. Actually, this was one of those rare DRY spells of mine that required an OLD piece to keep my columns “active” – truth is, I originally wrote this YEARS ago! But being still true and not time-sensitive…

    However, the rains have belatedly arrived (literally, here) and so I now have two new (albethey small) monographs which I hope will entertain…


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