The World According To Damien
in a World gone mad – one sane voice emerges…

Damien on… Tales Of Big Chief Screaming Eagle

On the occasion of his eightieth birthday, Big Chief Screaming Eagle is being interviewed by a young reporter from the local newspaper.

They are sitting by a tent on the edge of the reservation, smoking an unspecified substance. Suddenly the old Native American stiffens and stands, looking far into the distance.

“The Thunderbird approaches,” he says.

“You mean the legendary bird that presages storms?” asks the cub.

“Don’t be absurd,” answers the old man, “My mechanic is returning my car from its 20,000 mile service.”

Later that same day, the young reporter finds the chief out on the prairie, lying prone, his head to the ground. “What happened?” he asks.

“Twenty buffalo passed this way,” the old man whispers.

“How do you know?”

“They ran over me.”

Later still, the madam of the Silver Dollar Saloon is instructing her newest recruit, a delicate young girl from Back East.

“Now, your first customer will be Big Chief Screaming Eagle. He’s a regular here, so we give him a discount. The discount rates are – a blow job; twenty, full sex; fifty – and another twenty for foreplay.”

“I do not know what foreplay is.”

“Don’t worry – neither does Big Chief Screaming Eagle.”

In case you were wondering: this author, “Laugh-In” and… I can’t remember.

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