Damien on… Circumcision
Circumcision is the genital mutilation of helpless babies by evil and/or ignorant people.
The reasons this barbaric act is permitted in our modern World are many. Let us examine them…
First, the Jewish nation. According to legend, a bloke called Abe was chatting to God one day, when the Almighty asked him for a favour. Apparently He had realised the beings He had created had a design flaw. And so asked Abe if he could correct this fault by ordering a Bris to be performed on all babies. And so it was and still is.
Of course, this story does raise a number of questions. Like, if God created Man in His image, what model did He use for the organs of reproduction? Did God HAVE them? And if not, how did He inseminate Mary? Did He use Joseph? (If so, that’s another slap in the face for the man who would go down in history as the World’s most famous cuckold).
And if God is perfect, how come He slipped up with such an important detail? And if He is all-powerful, how come He couldn’t FIX it? Hell, if Ford made a goof like that, they would organise a product recall.
So that is the religious dimension. And in stating it, I THINK I’ve managed to piss off every major religion in the World – which is no bad thing.
But alas, circumcision is not limited to those who practice it for silly religious reasons. Oh no. Approximately 70% of American men have incomplete sex organs as well. Here, the cause appears to be the nature of their society. America is a matriarchy.
So since men cannot be trusted to WASH their junk when they have a shower, their women insist they have their penis’ protective covering REMOVED. They also claim it is aesthetically pleasing. But then again, they think having their chests cut open and getting plastic bags full of salt water stuffed behind their tits makes them look good as well.
Furthermore, American women care little for their men’s sexual satisfaction. Rather than go on the pill and risk getting FAT (or even FATTER) they demand their men continue to wear CONDOMS after marriage. This is pretty tough on said men, since – as we will see later – half of their stimulation disappears after circumcision. And most of the remaining half disappears when they don a condom.
Which means that while a man’s brain will ADAPT to varying degrees of stimulation (a vibrator delivers a FAR higher level than a hand – but either will do the trick, if you pause in between) if a circumcised man is using a condom, he has to make do with at best TEN PERCENT of the stimulation THIS reporter receives, every time HE makes love.
Now, having pissed off most AMERICANS, there are still a few MORE reasons why circumcision is supported, so let us examine THOSE…
Historically, after Abe, comes sexual repression. In days of yore, it was realised that a circumcised penis is much harder to masturbate with. You have to use a LUBRICANT – and the ejaculate goes all OVER the place. Thus it was believed removing the foreskin would remove boys’ temptation to “abuse” themselves (yeah, like THAT’D work).
Then there are the medical considerations. True, there are a couple of medical conditions where circumcision is advisable – however, these are very RARE. And far MORE problems, particularly in infants, are CAUSED by the practice.
And recently, came stories that a circumcised penis was more resistant to VENEREAL DISEASES. You know – STDs. Except there is NO medical evidence to support this. And again, a little attention to personal hygiene will soon level THAT playing field.
Again speaking personally, this reporter has had “unprotected” sex with over a hundred women and by observing basic hygiene, the worst thing he ever picked up was N.S.U. (The disease, not the car). A course of antibiotics later and he was back in the game.
Of course, this genital mutilation is not only practised on BOYS. In certain primitive countries – particularly ones where women are treated like sh*t – FEMALE “circumcision” is commonplace. This involves removal of the top of the clitoris, thus eliminating most of the women’s pleasure from the sex act. Which in turn means the women don’t enjoy sex – so they don’t make DEMANDS on their men.
But while many international organisations voice their disapproval of THIS practise, they remain far less vocal on the issue of MALE circumcision (Jewish groups have CLOUT).
However, BOTH of these practices are equally vile. But while the female version’s disadvantages are obvious, the male version’s are less so – so let us finally examine THOSE…
As with the female’s, the male’s sex organ is an INTERNAL one. The vital organ is the KNOB (women who masturbate a man’s SHAFT get NOWHERE). And this knob – the “glans penis” to give it its proper name – is covered by a thin, sensitive skin, in which the genital corpuscles are buried.
These are the nerves that give us sexual stimulation. They are present in both women’s clitorises and men’s glans penises. Without them, sex would be pointless and the human race would die out.
And removal of the foreskin causes the skin of the glans penis to become hard and coarse – DRASTICALLY reducing the stimulation the genital corpuscles receive. (Again, the brain compensates for this to SOME degree – but still).
Whereas, with an INTACT penis, the foreskin PROTECTS this skin, with its corpuscles – and only during intercourse does it roll back, allowing the sensitive knob to caress the inside of the woman’s vagina, creating the sensations for both that makes all the dating, fighting, heartaches – and expense – of relationships ultimately worthwhile.
Then when passion is spent, a clever little membrane on the underneath of the penis eases the foreskin back over the knob, once again consigning it to its hiding place.
So remember – if you MUST lean on the crutch of religion – your God knew what he was DOING when he designed the penis. And if you accept that it evolved, NATURAL SELECTION did a good job. So either way – DON’T MESS with it!FOOTNOTE: GALATIANS 6, verse 15 – “For in Jesus Christ neither circumcision nor uncircumcision avails anything, but a new creation.” So THERE! SECOND FOOTNOTE: Lest any circumcised man be in any doubt he is disabled, consider the following; a sighted man (intact) can know what it is like to be blind – but a blind (circumcised) man…