Damien on… Malaysia Airlines Flight 370
…which is (was?) in fact the above aeroplane.
I think it is a given that somewhere in Bel Air, the first two acts of the forthcoming film, “The [TBA] Of Flight 370”, are being written as I type. And I further suspect that casting is already in progress.
But whether or not the film actually gets green-lit – will depend largely on how the third act plays out.
Certainly, at this pre-production stage, the drama seems tailor-made for Hollywood…
First you have the mysterious disappearance of an airliner.
Then comes the red herring of the two Iranian men travelling on stolen passports – who merely turn out to be illegal immigrants.
After which all sorts of shenanigans occur, with a variety of countries holding back vital information, for fear of compromising their own technical capabilities.
But suddenly things take a dramatic turn when it emerges that after the aircraft’s transponder was switched off – in two stages, therefore likely by a person – its two Rolls Royce engine’s mini-transponders continued to function (ping) for four more hours.
Plus it then transpires that an assortment of military satellites were picking up other signals from her (but originating from where, they cannot – or will not say) for a further three.
Which, given that the plane’s electrics would have had to be working for this, means she had to have been in one piece for at least seven hours after contact was lost.
At which point attention turns to the pilots – who are straight out of Central Casting.
In the left seat is a grizzled veteran of 30-years-plus, while the right is occupied by a 27-year-old flying enthusiast, with a home-made simulator in his bedroom, from which he has uploaded a number of videos to YouTube.
Further, it is revealed that in the past, he has casually invited women up onto the flight deck for a look-see.
Thus both of these men are now under scrutiny – however it seems to me they are another red herring. They were not routinely paired, nor had they asked to be – which rather rules them out of any “plot”.
And while the younger man might be something of a free-wheeler, there is nothing to suggest that either he or his captain are evil.
But the same cannot be said for the various investigating teams. They claim no credible demands have been received from any group, but as we have seen in the past – their veracity is suspect.
It could very well be that as I type this, “high-level” negotiations are in progress for the release of the Boeing 777, along with its 239 passengers and crew.
Which brings us to that third act.
It surprises me that so far no-one (at least, not on CNN or the Beeb) has mentioned the obvious: the airliner could currently be parked in a hangar somewhere in a certain country ruled by a chubby man whose hair looks like he cut it himself, in the dark, with blunt scissors.
Why? Well, it was on its way to China.
Now that would make a third act.
Of course it is all too easy for me to sit here formulating this amusing theory. If the story does have a tragic outcome, I can simply delete the whole piece. Which is something a print journalist cannot do – if it ended in tears, he would be scarred for life.
And so we all wait…