The World According To Damien
in a World gone mad – one sane voice emerges…

Damien on… Me, Charlie Sheen And Kirsten Dunst

Me and the wife were entertaining Charlie Sheen in our apartment.

Charlie was charming and friendly. We had the lights turned down low and the evening was going well.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. We excused ourselves and went to answer it. It was Kirsten Dunst and some guy. We invited them in.

After a while, it turned out Kirsten and her friend (who was quite handsome) were swingers. They asked us if we swung – we turned to each other, shrugged and said sure.

Then Kirsten became aware someone else was in the room. I had forgotten about Charlie, who was sitting in the shadows behind her.

“Yes, that IS Charlie Sheen,” I said, in introduction. Then we went off to the kitchen to get some drinks for our new guests.

“Do you think Charlie will get off with Kirsten?” asked my wife. “I think it’s pretty much a given,” I replied.

“Then again,” I added, “I can live with that. If some schlub steals a woman from you, it’s vexing – if it’s Charlie Sheen, it’s an anecdote.”

“Maybe you can do her after Charlie?” my wife ventured.

“I don’t think so,” I replied. “Once Charlie Sheen’s done her – she’ll be done.”

“In any case,” I added, “Charlie probably has STDs medical science hasn’t identified yet.”

*                   *                    *                    *                    *                    *

…then I woke up.

Analyse THAT…


2 Responses to “Damien on… Me, Charlie Sheen And Kirsten Dunst”

  1. I just thought: they STILL have not invented a cyber device to give you dreams yet. Gee I hope they never do. Actually, I read that ALL dreams are nightmares. After all, when you have control in waking hours it is bad enough. But when some cells in the grey matter are in charge, having a sort-out of the latest, trying to see what fits and where to file stuff, what hope have you got?

  2. I find these days, most of my dreams are BORING. I believe I would not dream AT ALL if I slept FACE DOWN. I’ve even invented a bed that would allow me to do so (and it’d have a built-in loo, so I could let go a pee and flush whilst barely waking) but it would cost WAY more than I could afford (the aircon system would be CRIPPLINGLY expensive, for a start).

    Oh well, perhaps when my premium bond comes up…

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