The World According To Damien
in a World gone mad – one sane voice emerges…

Damien on… The Generosity Of Britain’s “Southern Water” – Explained For Americans

Being an ex-pat Brit, for the benefit of my Stateside readers I will clarify the situation in the UK: back in the Eighties, a particularly corrupt Tory government (US equivalent: Republican administration) sold off our national industries (then, anything they could lay their grubby hands on) to commercial interests – their fat-cat friends.

Yes, we too are cursed by right-wing arseholes (US: assholes).

And one such selling-off was our water and sewage industry. But where the purchasers of our communications, gas and electricity services had made a mint from them – the companies who had taken on Water And Poop soon discovered they had been LUMBERED.

Many of the systems they were now responsible for, dated back to the Victorian era and were currently falling apart. And as if that were not bad enough – in 1987, the World-wide Climate Shift arrived.

Of course, the now-commercialised Water And Poop companies were swift to divert the blame for the situation they had inherited to their consumers – charging THEM with being WASTEFUL.

And thus it was that they managed to get their buddies back in Her Majesty’s Government (whom they viewed as having screwed them in the first place) to pass laws forcing manufacturers to reduce water consumption by changing the designs of their products.

So baths got smaller, builders put SHOWERS into new properties, toilets became “dual-flush” and new washing machines only allowed a TINY amount to enter their drums. Suddenly, appliances that used water did not WORK properly.

Also, every “summer” the local governments would announce another “hose-pipe ban” – ensuring people’s carefully-tended gardens would end up resembling Arizona.

And this is the situation which still exists today – except that last year, half of Britain was under water (again) following the Wettest Year On Record (BOY, am I glad to be an EX-pat Brit) – which brings me to that titular “generosity”.

Southern Water have just announced that THIS year – there will be no hose-pipe ban.

In Britain, this is called “taking the piss”.

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