The World According To Damien
in a World gone mad – one sane voice emerges…

Damien on… Angus T Jones

Poor (not really: he’s RICH) old (not really: he’s six weeks younger than ME) Chuck Lorre.

Having barely recovered from the monumental, steaming pile of aggravation caused by the histrionics of his main “Two And A Half Men” star, Charlie Sheen; now the show’s titular “Half” – Angus T Jones – has gone and gotten himself RELIGION (in the form of Seventh Day Adventism – whatever THAT is).

And having declared the show to be “filth” – he says he wants OUT.

Angus T Jones - Sept 2011

Furthermore, given the show’s “adult themes” do not sit well with the followers of his new-found faith, he’s urged “his fans” not to watch it.

His FANS? WHAT fans??? Wake up and smell the roses, Angus – the only fans you have are fans of the SHOW.

You are a kid actor (barely) who got SERIOUSLY LUCKY, glomming a multi (about TWENTY, according to my reckoning) million dollar gig that guarantees you’ll never (unless you’re even more stupid than “Jake”) want for anything as long as you LIVE.

Apart from a handful of cameos, your other acting achievements are ZILCH. Back in the Sixties, Butch Patrick (who is also now my age) played Eddie Munster and then spent the rest of his life trying (and failing) to keep his “career” going. That’s YOU – after “Two And A Half Men” finally wraps.

But then HE never scored a FRACTION of the loot YOU have.

Your relevance to (and airtime on) the show has been declining year by year anyhow. But being integral to it (solely in terms of the TITLE) they were forced to keep you on – and pay you OBSCENE amounts of money for doing so. And now you SHIT on them.

Okay, I know you’re only nineteen – but from one who is WAY older and wiser, I can tell you that all of that easy money you’ve received since you were EIGHT is IMPORTANT. Money don’t buy happiness – but it certainly buys you the freedom to FIND it.

And BLOWING the chance to earn even more over “principles” is MADNESS. Even the dopey stoner you play on “Two And A Half Men” would have more sense.

In the future, you will REGRET your current idiocy. You will discover that THESE are your Golden Years – as an actor, you are right up there with the afore-mentioned Mr Patrick.

So I just hope for YOUR sake (I could give a rat’s arse) that your financial advisors manage to stop you pissing away the fortune you have made, before you REALISE that fact.

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