The World According To Damien
in a World gone mad – one sane voice emerges…

Damien on… English As She Is Spoken

The singular of “lice” is “louse” – and the singular of “mice” is “mouse”.

And the word “dice” too is PLURAL. However, its singular is not “douse” – rather, it is “die” – which makes NO damn sense at all.

I realise the word “douse” is already “taken” – as in: to put out a fire.

But so too is “die” – as in: expire.

So where does this anomaly originate? Anyone?


4 Responses to “Damien on… English As She Is Spoken”

  1. No idea but I have a feeling that my dear wife would not approve of my suggesting that the plural of SPOUSE should perhaps be SPICE!


  2. I’ll bet she prefers “bachelorette” to “spinster” too! Also, try telling her the word “Ms” is short for “mistress” – of course, it’s easy for me to suggest these things – I do not LIVE with the current Ms S!

  3. I’m not suggesting that I would seriously need or want more than one wife – this one is lovely and quite enough for me. I may, however, explain to her a quote I once heard that “a mistress is something that comes between a Mister and a mattress”. And yes I am aware that there is at least one extra innuendo in that quote.


  4. I love double entendres: my Mum went into a pub and asked the barman for a double entendre – so he GAVE her one!

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