Damien on… Good News
A news item which causes one to roll on the floor laughing is rare these days – or any other days, for that matter. No news is (ever) good news.
But just once in a while…
Yesterday, Kazakhstan’s shooting team won Gold at an event held in Kuwait. But when winner Maria Dmitrienko stepped onto the podium, the national anthem played was NOT that of Kazakhstan.
In fact, it was not even a REAL ANTHEM. It was the one featured in Sasha Baron Cohen’s mockumentary film “Borat” (full title – Borat: Cultural Learnings Of America For Make Benefit Glorious Nation Of Kazakhstan”).
The lyrics of the anthem (written by Sasha) are as follows…
“Kazakhstan greatest country in the world. All other countries are run by little girls. Kazakhstan number one exporter of potassium. Other countries have inferior potassium.
“Kazakhstan home of Tinshein swimming pool. It’s length thirty meter and width six meter. Filtration system a marvel to behold. It remove 80 percent of human solid waste.
“Kazakhstan, Kazakhstan you very nice place. From Plains of Tarashek to Northern fence of Jewtown. Kazakhstan friend of all except Uzbekistan. They very nosey people with bone in their brain.
“Kazakhstan industry best in world. We invented toffee and trouser belt. Kazakhstan’s prostitutes cleanest in the region. Except of course for Turkmenistan’s.
“Kazakhstan, Kazakhstan you very nice place. From Plains of Tarashek to Norther fence of Jewtown. Come grasp the mighty penis of our leader. From junction with the testes to tip of its face!”
Needless to say, “Borat” is banned in Kazakhstan. But it is also banned in Kuwait – which begs the question of just where the hell they OBTAINED the recording in the first place??!
There will be tears before bedtime for someone…