Damien on… The Scotch
The Scotch are a race of people who live at the top of England.
Being that far north, the winters are long, dark and cold. So the Scotch have little to do and amuse themselves by inventing nick-nacks.
One of their inventions was a drink, which they unimaginatively named after themselves. A leading brand is Glenmiller.
The liquid gives the Scotch the DTs – thus many think they see monsters, like the Lock Ness Monster.
Every Saturday night, they go on a pilgrimage to the Glasgay Empire, where they throw things at English comics.
They are an aggressive people, as is evidenced by the celebrities who hail from there – like Jerry Sadowitz and Susan Boyle’s son, Frankie.
But luckily, they do not live very long, thanks to their diet of fried Mars Bars and haggis and chips.
[Of course, Sarah Palin would probably BELIEVE this crap!]