The World According To Damien
in a World gone mad – one sane voice emerges…

Damien on… The Scotch

The Scotch are a race of people who live at the top of England.

Being that far north, the winters are long, dark and cold. So the Scotch have little to do and amuse themselves by inventing nick-nacks.

One of their inventions was a drink, which they unimaginatively named after themselves. A leading brand is Glenmiller.

The liquid gives the Scotch the DTs – thus many think they see monsters, like the Lock Ness Monster.

Every Saturday night, they go on a pilgrimage to the Glasgay Empire, where they throw things at English comics.

They are an aggressive people, as is evidenced by the celebrities who hail from there – like Jerry Sadowitz and Susan Boyle’s son, Frankie.

But luckily, they do not live very long, thanks to their diet of fried Mars Bars and haggis and chips.

[Of course, Sarah Palin would probably BELIEVE this crap!]


2 Responses to “Damien on… The Scotch”

  1. Wow! What brought THAT on?! Very amusing anyway! Today, in 1715, Charles Stew Art landed at Peterhead to start a rebellion. A direct male line ancestor of mine supported the Great Pretender. I prefer Harbor Lights myself. As to the Jacobite cause, I say it sucked. After making it so far as Derby, the Scottish band of piping hot brawsome laddies, passed on London thinking the English would get the point. In the end, however, they all had to flee the field at Culloden. You have to love that hit number Speed Bonny Boat Like A Bird On The Wing Over The Sea To Skye, though.

  2. I just got inspired! It happens rarely. I think I managed to work TWO jokes into each one-line para!

    I have Harbor Lights in (original) STEREO – Mercury records were a late starter (1949) and went with stereo early, rather than have to re-equip later.

    It turned out to be a bad decision business-wise, but means most of the Platters’ stuff is available in original stereo.

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