The World According To Damien
in a World gone mad – one sane voice emerges…

Damien on… Baths Versus Showers

In Britain, baths (in the US – tubs) used to be long enough for you to stretch out in. Today, water conservation (not required because of a lack of water – it never stops RAINING in Britain these days – but rather thanks to the commercialisation – sorry, “privatisation” of the water companies) has caused them to become as TINY as possible – squeezed in at the middle and SHORT.

But to be fair – as a method of cleaning the whole body (their original purpose) they are horribly inefficient. In addition to using up a lot of water, they use up a lot of SPACE too – both no-nos, nowadays.

Plus now, most people wash their whole bodies at least once a DAY – not once a WEEK, like they did in times of yore. Do that in a BATH and the water companies WILL wet themselves. No – SHOWERS are the only practical alternative.

And here in Thailand, all houses use the ENTIRE BATHROOM as the shower (the tiled floor gently slopes to the drain hole and you buy a giant windscreen wiper on a stick to clear the remaining water from the floor, so you don’t go base-over-apex when you go in to use the LOO).

So – baths have had their day, right? Well – NO.

Today, baths are somewhere to RELAX. To soak away the stress of daily living. To just go, “Aaaaaaah!”

You can still buy ’em: in fact re-enamelled long, Victorian models used to cost a pretty penny – until companies started making the long ones again.

And you can get ones that have bubble-makers, too (although the noise from the pump is intrusive – put it in the next room, on rubber mounts). Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!

But then, there is still all that WATER they use – plus the room they take up. And you just get relaxed, then some spoilsport wants to use the damn TOILET – to take a DUMP.

The solution? Simple. Allocate (or construct) a room as the LITERAL bathroom. Then plumb in a LONG bath – with that bubble-maker (OUTSIDE) complete with a water re-heater. Add some soft lighting, reflective music, joss-sticks and there you are. Resist peeing in it and you can reuse the water, too.

Then you will have a shower for cleaning and a bathroom for just AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!


UPDATE!!! [added on 22nd November, 2011]

For DECADES, conservationistas have banged on about how showers SAVE WATER, right? Well, it turns out they were talking BOLLOCKS!

Their figures were based on the assumption people would have as many baths as showers (RUBBISH – they don’t have the TIME) and that they spent only five minutes in the shower.

Horsefeathers! I take around TEN minutes. And it turns out I’m not alone (I mean, not alone in taking my TIME – sadly, I’m usually alone while I’m IN there). A recent survey reveals the ACTUAL average is more like EIGHT minutes.

Add to this the far GREATER number of times people use showers, compared with the number if they were using baths – and it transpires the REDUCTION in water consumption is MINIMAL.

And those with POWER SHOWERS actually use MORE!!!


2 Responses to “Damien on… Baths Versus Showers”

  1. No argument from me on all this. But I take a bath twice a week because I am no longer sharing accommodation with other folk, nor am I working and slaving my life away whilst that lucky old Sol has nothing to do but roll around heaven all day. Good old Brut helps. I love the open top 50 to Swanage with lots of fresh air.

  2. Reply to 22 Nov update: Now that IS interesting. Just one more illustration how good people, with the best will in the world, and trying to be scientific and reasonable, can in fact fail to take into account all the aspects, and can fail to collect all the available data.

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