The World According To Damien
in a World gone mad – one sane voice emerges…

Damien on… The Secret Life Of Baby-Wipes

While early forms of The Wipe appeared in the Fifties – it was not until the Seventies that, thanks to synthetic materials, they really took off.

Like “Silly Putty” they were an invention for which there was no clear use. However, it was not long before commercial companies began suggesting some.

Initially, they were sold as Baby Wipes, Comfort Wipes – to “finish off” wiping ADULT bottoms, “Wet Wipes” – sold mainly to fast-food restaurants and “Moist Towelettes” – targeted at airlines, as an alternative to “freshen-up” towels (which were NOT disposable).

Strangely, the application for adult bottoms never really took off.

Then, when the cost was realised, airlines stopped using them, too.

And most restaurants figured they were a bit twee (plus KFC claimed their chicken was “Finger-Lickin’ Good” – a philosophy that wipes ran COUNTER to).

Thus today, they are mostly only used by mothers, for babies – and OCD types (like “Monk”) for EVERYTHING.

But while not (recently) possessing a BABY – or being majorly OCD – this historian has used ’em for YEARS.

Indeed, they ARE useful for that “finishing off” purpose listed above (although, being synthetic, they will not dissolve in septic tanks, so must be disposed of in a bin).

And thanks to their astringent quality, they also come in handy after shaving, or suffering a mild cut or graze.

Plus, having a GENTLE cleaning effect, they are useful for cleaning everything from this computer’s keyboard, through mobile phones, TV screens – you name it. They are safe on ALL plastics – thus can clean MOST of what we own today.

And one can easily buy them in a plastic box, from which one can PEEL OFF the “Baby Wipes” label. After which they become merely – Wipes. Then, for as long as the spring in the lid holds out, one buys refill packs.

I go through a pack a week…


One Response to “Damien on… The Secret Life Of Baby-Wipes”

  1. Bravo! Jay (the neatest, most tidy, cleanest dude on the planet) thought they were a hilarious idea when he first heard of them way back… I buy Cien camomile from Lidl (without alcohol, pH-skin neutral), or Tesco cucumber (dermatologically tested, no colour, no alcohol, just smooth feeling skin). The world owes you a favour, El Vincento, for courageously laying this thing out straight. They now have no excuse.

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