The World According To Damien
in a World gone mad – one sane voice emerges…

Damien on… Bill Gates

I used to have a small computer business and one time, I managed to get a meeting with a CEO of a giant corporation, whom I hoped to pitch a new system to. If it went through, it would be worth millions.

However, on the morning of the meeting, his secretary rang to inform me that her boss had to fly to Bahrain on (more important) business – and therefore had to regretfully cancel our appointment.

Thinking quickly, I replied that I too had an important meeting (which of course, I didn’t) in New York tomorrow and would be taking the red-eye to that city, in a few hours. I suggested we could meet up at Heathrow.

It worked – and that afternoon, having shown the doorman the Queen’s portrait, I sat in the executive lounge, waiting for the CEO.

As my gaze wandered around the lounge, I noticed a VERY familiar face. It was Bill Gates, sitting alone drinking coffee. I recognised an opportunity.

I walked over to his table and said, “Sir – I’m terribly sorry to bother you, but I too am in computers – obviously in a much SMALLER way than yourself – and I wondered if you could help me?”

“I’m afraid my office handles all…” he began.

“Oh no,” I replied, “It’s nothing like that. The thing is, I have a meet here in a few minutes, with a very important client – and it would SERIOUSLY help my chances if he thought I knew YOU. I realize it’s an AWFUL imposition – but it occurred to me that if, once my meeting is underway, you could pass the table and say something like “Hi Damien, how’s it going?” – it would impress the HELL out of him.”

Bill chuckled, thought for a second and said, “Okay – sounds like fun. I’ll do it.”

“Oh, thank you VERY much, Sir.” I replied.

The minutes passed and Bill glanced over at my table every now and then. I thought the whole thing was not going to happen when, to my relief, I saw the CEO enter the lounge, look around and begin heading my way.

He settled down opposite me and I began my pitch. It was obvious the businessman was unimpressed by me – but then Bill sauntered over and said, “Hi Damien, how’s things?”

Looking up, I replied, “Oh, NAFF off Gates – can’t you see I’m having a meeting?”

The above story is ENTIRELY fictitious.

One Response to “Damien on… Bill Gates”

  1. You rotten so-and-so you had me going there. So, anyway, did the deal go through? Oh… No… You rotten so-and-so you still had me going…

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