The World According To Damien
in a World gone mad – one sane voice emerges…

Damien on… Star Movies

Star Movies is the DiggerVision movie channel, here in S.E. Asia. And it has an absurd, self-imposed “classification” system. I say absurd, since virtually ALL their movies are “rated” as either “cert 15” or “cert 16” (like there’s a difference) – but are actually cut LOWER than PG13!

So it was with glee that I saw they were premiering Sasha Baron Cohen’s “Brüno” at 23:25 hrs, instead of the usual 20:00 – and had given it a “cert 18”. Goody! It must SURELY be UNCUT.

While I understand the DVD has extra scenes (the film is episodic – so some bits were always going to work better than others) and a couple of sequences were cut in post (including one with references to Michael Jackson, who died just before the film’s release) the theatrical release of “Brüno” runs eighty-one minutes.

In Britain it was released in two forms: uncut, with an OFFICIAL cert 18 – and as “Brüno: Snipped” it lost two minutes to become a cert 15 (thus becoming available to the lucrative young-teen market). The two versions went out together.

The story was similar in other countries. In Australia, a few seconds were cut to get a 15 rating. In New Zealand, it was given a cert 16, uncut.

But on Star Movies, having allocated it their “cert 18” – and relegated it to nearly midnight – it only ran sixty-four minutes. They had cut it by SEVENTEEN MINUTES!

Are you KIDDING ME, Digger???

So thanks to that prat, I will now have to wait for the DVD. At least THEY are COMPLETE in S.E. Asia – even the LEGITIMATE ones. And I will be able to see all those other bits that did not QUITE work – but I suspect will STILL be funnier than most Hollywood films that CALL themselves comedies.

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