The World According To Damien
in a World gone mad – one sane voice emerges…

Damien on… The Christmas Story

It is currently September the eighth, which means the shops will soon be turning our minds to the subject of Christmas. And then, the schools will force our kids to reenact that old chestnut – The Christmas Story.

But what is this story REALLY about? Let us examine it.

Joseph and his heavily pregnant wife Mary have to travel from Nazareth to Bethlehem – a distance of some NINETY MILES – to take part in a census. Which means that even (literally) in the year DOT, those bloody BUREAUCRATS were screwing people’s lives up.

According to the legend, Joe WALKED while his wife rode on a donkey – that’s some schlepp.

Then when they got to Bethlehem, there was No Room At The Inn. Well of course there wasn’t – the hotels were all occupied by others coming for that sodding CENSUS (no, the hotels were not booked up ’cause it was CHRISTMAS – THINK about it).

So poor old Mary ends up giving birth in a STABLE. It’s a wonder Jesus SURVIVED.

Then three wise guys turn up with gold and scent. Of course, the one who brought the GOLD must have felt a proper Charlie – but he got off EASY compared to JOE.

Here is a man who marries a woman, gives her a son – yet is known for the next TWO THOUSAND YEARS (and counting) as a chap who could not even manage to make LOVE with his wife – she is always referred to as The VIRGIN Mary – and further, after dragging her ninety-odd miles on an ass, when she gives birth to his son – it was not HIS.

Joseph has to be the greatest LOSER of ALL TIME.


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