The World According To Damien
in a World gone mad – one sane voice emerges…

Damien on… 2012

No, not Roland Emmerich’s latest CGI-fest – just the YEAR.

Back in the Year Of Our Lord, One Thousand – no-one knew it WAS One Thousand (just like Romans in 45 BC didn’t look forward to 44 – thanks, Bob Newhart). The calendar as we know it didn’t start until the sixteenth century, thus the First Millennium party was poorly attended.

But now here we are in the Third Millennium, having just celebrated the end of the Second (on December the 31st., 1999 – or for die-hard scholars, 2000) and already there is confusion.

For back in 1967, Stanley Kubrick gave us “2001: A Space Odyssey” and it was spoken as – Two Thousand And One.

And when the time actually ARRIVED, people followed suit. Of course, Twenty-Oh-One sounds seriously LAME compared to TWO THOUSAND – so Stan The Man may not be able to claim credit for it (but then since he’s DEAD, he’s past caring).

Anyhoo, after the Millennium, people just sorta carried on – Two Thousand And One, Two Thousand And Two and so on. But where are we going once this first decade is over?

I mean, will next year be Twenty-Ten – or will we keep going with Two Thousand And Ten, Eleven and so on?

I’ve been paying particular attention to the PUBLICITY for Rolly’s latest epic, because if Stan’s piece DID determine our description of the decade just ending – Mr Emmerich’s OUGHT to do likewise for the one soon to begin.

However, so far it doesn’t seem to be DOING so. F’rinstance, on American TV, I saw a trailer where the voice-over called the film Two Thousand Twelve (Americans leave the “and” out) – but it was introduced by a media tart who called it Twenty-Twelve!

So like I said – confusion. Which one will eventually emerge victorious? Gawdnose. If past performance is anything to go on, Britain will go one way, while America will go the other. But since even THEY don’t seem to have this one sorted yet…


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