The World According To Damien
in a World gone mad – one sane voice emerges…

Damien on… How To Deal With The Police

In Britain, when not waging their pointless war against their own citizens (The War Against Drugs) the cops spend most of their time pestering already beleaguered motorists (running a car in The Old Country costs more than having a BUTLER, these days).

Not so here in Thailand. Oh sure, thanks to pressure from America, they also wage war on drugs (often killing innocent citizens in the process) but when it comes to motorists, they only pester the riders of S.E. Asia’s seemingly unending supply of step-through motorbikes.

And given said riders’ annoying habit of driving like The Omega Man (as if there was no-one else on the road) this reporter APPROVES of that practise (at least while they’re being harrassed, it keeps the buggers off the road for a few minutes).

But when it comes to CAR drivers, the wooden-tops mostly leave us alone. And on the rare occasions they DO turn their attention to us,  a little “tea-money” will usually satisfy them (provided we remain polite – and haven’t just run OVER someone).

However, I still recall the hassles encountered Back Home, so have the following advice for those unfortunate enough to still reside there. Next time you get pulled by the fuzz (it don’t half make your eyes water) and he comes up with his favourite opener – “Do you know WHY I stopped you?” – come back with “Listen, I already pay your WAGES, do you want me to do your sodding JOB as WELL?”

Let me know how that works out for you…

Advertisements

2 Responses to “Damien on… How To Deal With The Police”

  1. Another one you might try is:

    “Well Officer, I assume that the speed cameras have stopped working and you’ve had to get off your arse and bring in some fines the hard way!”

    Or:

    “It’s because I’m black isn’t it?” That’ll confuse them – especially if you’re NOT!

    Alfie

  2. Or you could give him a winsome smile and make a suggestive trucheon joke – but that could backfire if he’s gay! Unless YOU’RE gay, in which case you’ll find out what the Secret Policeman’s Ball is REALLY about! (There’s a million of these!)


Leave a comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: