The World According To Damien
in a World gone mad – one sane voice emerges…

Damien on… Widescreen TV

Most new tellies these days are 16:9. However, many broadcasts (and people’s old tapes) are still in 4:3. This leaves you with a SMALL picture with a lot of black on each side.

But the manufacturers have a solution to this niggle. It’s a button which, when pressed, leaves the MIDDLE of the picture in its original ratio, while STRETCHING the SIDES.

And they call this function “expand”. Or “zoom”. Or “wide”. Or any NUMBER of other things. You see my problem. I wish they’d all agree on ONE word to describe this function. Why don’t they use MINE?

“BANANARAMA”.

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