The World According To Damien
in a World gone mad – one sane voice emerges…

Damien on… The American Vice President

Ask politicians and pundits what the job of Vice President Of The United States is and you’ll get a plethora of different answers. But we all know what the REAL job is, don’t we? To be such a total douche-bag that they make the President look GOOD.

And a wander through past examples proves the point. Johnson, who when he inherited the Big Chair, proceeded to ramp up the Vietnam War and pull America into a conflict whose dire ramifications continue to echo, forty years later.

Spiro Agnew. Let’s move on.

Of course, the GREATEST waste-of-space to occupy the position HAS to be the legendary Dan Quayle, whose stupidity was only surpassed by his arrogance. He REVELLED in his own moronitude (that’s a good word).

An exception to the rule was Dead-Eye Dick Cheyney, who even when he SHOT some old fart in the FACE, couldn’t make The MONKEY look good. Actually, the only person who tried was Condo Rice. A black woman, she seemed unaware that the man she was supporting was a REPUBLICAN.

But what of the current incumbent? Well first, let’s be grateful America didn’t take the DISASTROUS step of putting McCain in the White House (granted if the GOP had fielded him in ’00, despite his love of pandering to the military – I’m sorry, but doesn’t having been a P.O.W. make you a LOSER? – he couldn’t have made a bigger nause-up of things than The Monkey) ’cause if they HAD – the current Veep would be Sarah Palin. Calamity Jane on acid.

What IS it with her and Russia? Her fear of the country appears to be based on her conviction she can see the arse-end of it from her kitchen window. Then again, I once knew someone who claimed they could see the Eiffel Tower from their bedroom. Which would have been fine if they hadn’t been living in Detroit at the time.

And if McCain HAD croaked while in office (quite likely) this appalling woman would have ensured that no OTHER woman would occupy the White House in this century.

But thankfully, America voted for Obama (hallelujah) – which puts Joe Biden in the position. And while he fits the traditional pattern – he runs away at the mouth and constantly puts his foot in it – he is also a nice guy. Self-deprecating, honest, hard-working and no fool. All of which describes THIS writer, thus he identifies with Joe – and wishes him LUCK!

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