The World According To Damien
in a World gone mad – one sane voice emerges…

Damien on… Sit-Down Baths

Today, I saw a TV ad for a sit-down bath. So what, you say? Well I’m into the media and it started me thinking. Like, have you noticed how the people in these ads for wrinklies (sit-down baths, stair-lifts, etc.) ALWAYS feature people who are obviously barely out of their fifties, look like they work out and have just had hair powder added to “grey them up” a bit?

It’s like those ads for slimming corsets that feature models who, in the real World, don’t need them – and wouldn’t be seen DEAD in them.

And people on exercise machines who are ALREADY in shape.

I’d love to have been in the studio for the sit-down bath shoot, though.

As the camera operator strives to get it JUST right, the veteran model sits glumly in the COLD water (they’d have bunged up the waste with camera tape and filled it from the nearest tap) and just as his testicles are receding into his body, never to be seen again, the director says, “Got it.”

At which point, the model forgets himself and opens the DOOR, releasing a FLOOD of water, which hits the electric cables, popping the breakers. And as everybody staggers around in the DARK, a grip is heard to mutter, “Why the hell did I leave ‘Oprah’?”


One Response to “Damien on… Sit-Down Baths”

  1. This little jewel made me really happy! I am sorry for the technical people but overjoyed to think of anyone in a creative position getting soaked (electrfied would be even better)! Cy

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